Exposing cruel and unusual workplaces since 2005.
Tale # 23
Dept: All-Staff Score: 117
Dec 4th 2005 Submitted by Omni
“Unions, OH&S, toasters and other bureaucracies.”
A donut To be fair not all bureaucratic annoyances come from above. Being a large teleco, the company has it's own fun and games from the unions and various government departments.

Now I've often made this point of view known, 'Unions and Government departments aren't motivated by profit. It's completely out of the equation for them. The only way they can justify their existence is to waste your god damn time, force you to pay attention to them somehow then they can claim to be doing something.'

My boss at the time often disagreed with this point of view, but however he did feel that I had the right attitude for an OH&S (Occupational Health & Safety) rep.

It's not fair. You pinky lefty types aren't supposed to be sneaky and smart like that.

The upshot of it that now they come to me to organise their audits and I do everything I can to get them the hell away from me ASAP with minimal impacts. Not that I don't take employee safety seriously, but if you come and tell me that we can't put tinsel up because if might fall and hurt someones eye I'm going to tell you exactly where I'm gonna put the tinsel instead.

But the toaster was a point of contention. Yes apparently this appliance that lives happily in millions of peoples homes is in fact a lethal burning electrocuting trap as soon as you take it out of it's natural environment and into the office. The owner of said toaster (who would often bribe me with toasted ham and cheese sandwiches for breakfast) tried to assure everyone that she had the whole affair under control and everything was fine, but eventually she said she had my permission to do it.

Well I tell you what. I thought that I had finally be busted for stealing Lindy Chamberlain's kid. But no, it was just about the toaster, and how apparently I didn't understand about the cheese burning, and how it might be hot if one person has one then suddenly the office will be full of cheesy hot toasters that are left on 24/7.

All my comments and counter arguments (which largely revolved around, 'Bugger off before you have an OH&S incident') fell on deaf ears. And after two months of this and several threats to get the unions involved I eventually caved and asked toaster girl to keep it in a drawer when it wasn't being used.

Problem solved. BTW the 'If I don't see it..' approach also works for liquid paper, which also isn't allowed in the office, because apparently someone might drink it or sniff too much of it and die.

Personally I say that just evolution in action, but I don't get to make the rules, I just get to ignore them. LINK
Rate this Tale: tick cross