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Showing 31 - 35 of 42 Tales in "All-Staff".
Tale # 121
Dept: All-Staff Score: 8
Sep 24th 2007 Submitted by Anonymous
“The Watchtower”
A donut I used to work in an office estate out in the middle of nowhere- we were ferried in by minicab from the train station at nine, taken back at six- you were otherwise trapped. My job was the 'change request manager'. Every week I would have a meeting where all the problems with the program we were working on would be presented and I had to approve or deny funding for the fix. Since the project had gone over budget well before I even began working, I was under instruction to always decline the fix- my job was to tell people no.

The company was crazy about buzzwords. We didn't have problem solvers, we had 'solution architects'. The architecture metaphor was well and truly out of hand, instead of saying they had a fix, they said they had a 'solution blueprint'. Once I was asked to fix something, and I sarcastically said: "Well I'll just load up AutoCAD, lay out the foundation for the solutions building with some answer-concrete, and then maybe write up some budget cladding on top of it?" This suggestion was met with enthusiastic agreement.

There were two people whose sole job was to make life working in the office estate more bearable. Every year they came up with a campaign to make people feel better about their jobs. One year it was giving to the Cancer Research Fund. They installed a projector screen in the lobby and looped an ad for the Cancer Research Fund on it 24/7- we were constantly subjected to images of children looking in the mirror to see their mother fading away behind them while sad music played. Work had quite literally become as 'fun as cancer'. LINK
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Tale # 151
Dept: All-Staff Score: 8
Jun 27th 2008 Submitted by Anonymous
“Don't go on that project management course”
A donut About six months after starting my job I decided to see if I could get work to pay for some training courses. I sent an email requesting I go to a project management course. I was working as an editor and writer so I was very persuasive and the company said yes. Off I went and it wasn't very useful but I now had something else to put on my C.V.

Fast-forward two years and I'm writing an educational book for kids. I write 8000 words in three days. It's wrong because the brief is wrong. I rewrite over three days and cut it down to 4000 words. It's still wrong because the new brief is wrong. I rewrite again over three days and bring it down to 1500 words.

Few days later and I get called into office and grilled over why this 1500 words took 9 work days. Grilled by the guy who gave the bad brief two times. I'm sick of this behaviour from him so for the first time ever I tell the truth: it took 9 days because your briefings were wrong each time.

Fast-forward another two weeks and I'm called into a meeting to discuss my "performance". The HR person says "We sent you to a Project management course when you started here because you weren't managing your projects. Nothing has changed and we think you shouldn't work here any longer."

I quit during that meeting. Soon after some of my friends there were fired in the same way: any course you went to was used as evidence you were not performing.

Later we found the boss and two others had accepted jobs at a rival company and were gutting the whole place so they could put in an ultra low bid for it. Which they did and won. The entire place got sold off, many people were fired and that company lost massive sales.

The only justice in here? The evil HR lady lost her job too. One of my friends said she was crying in the carpark when he left after being fired. LINK
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Tale # 144
Dept: All-Staff Score: 8
Apr 28th 2008 Submitted by William
“No Health Insurance For You”
A donut I worked at an Italian Restaurant chain located in the Silicon Valley, a small company with about 4 locations in the West Valley, the North Valley, and an office on Stevens Creek blvd.

They worked my quite hard and would often seat my tables 15 minutes before my shift started, created an environment that forced the "long term employees" to do their side work off the clock (the short term employees where the ones who did not work of the clock to get their side work done), and made it impossible to take a mid shift break by asking you to do task as you tried to eat (long term employees learned to leave the building during a mid shift break).

I had worked a location for the required 3 months and became eligible to get health insurance but before this event occurred they learned that I am a "Type 1 Diabetic" despite my efforts to hide it from them, I have learned the hard way to keep this information to myself.

One day before I was able to qualify for health insurance I was informed that "things where not working out" and that I was going to be let go BUT if I like I can work at the Formal Restaurant located in the North Valley which I accepted being that any job is better than no job.

I then went to work at the Formal Restaurant and after two weeks there I went the main office and asked about getting health insurance. I was told by an office worker that "since I am working at a different restaurant that my 3 month waiting period had started over from and that I would need to wait another three months to qualify.

The office is one large room and all of the woman in the office stopped what they where doing as soon as they heard my question and I told them my name, and they had the look of "I know and you know this is BS but what are you going to do" on there faces as I was informed of this policy. As I walked out the door I heard something about "get another job" from the women in the office.

Needles to say I did. LINK
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Tale # 154
Dept: All-Staff Score: 7
Jul 2nd 2008 Submitted by Kay
“Paying for the privilege of being a slave”
A donut I had a blip in my career when, for some bizarre reason, I decided to become a chef. (Never again - despite my love of cooking it's a job for sadists or masochists.)

I enrolled on a full-time college course for a year to get the basic training. Everything was going well, and all that was required to complete the course was a three week work-placement at an establishment with recognised high standards.

I was "lucky" enough to be accepted by [an international oil company - can't name names here but if you think of crustaceans and sea you might guess]. Their HQ is on The Strand in central London. All very prestigious and I was looking forward to the experience and to learning some new things.

I knew they wouldn't pay me for my placement, but I did think that they might refund my fares. (Travel in London is very expensive and travelling at peak rates costs substantially more than after the rush hour.) Nope, they didn't want to do that. Maybe I wouldn't turn up. I suggested that if I didn't turn up, then they needn't refund the fares. But no, I had to turn up at 7am every morning at my own expense, which was a big drain on our then very limited budget.

Still, I thought it would be worth it as I would learn a lot from the experience.

Yes, I did learn a lot.

I learned how to behave like a whipped dog with all the bullying that went on. To be fair, the more senior chefs were nice guys and were above that sort of behaviour. But the lower ranking ones, those with even one little rank above a trainee, mostly behaved like megalomaniacs. (There were exceptions, of course - two of them were really nice guys.)

I also learned how to cook 1,600 sausages in an hour every day.

And finally, I learned that no matter how well I did on my work placement they would never employ me because they always hired staff via an agency. LINK
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Tale # 114
Dept: All-Staff Score: 4
Aug 24th 2007 Submitted by Anonymous
“Ultimate Disappointment!”
A donut I got hired at one of those companies that sells electronics for waaay too much money to suckers that are either dumb enough or rich enough to buy it by the ****load.

I worked as a customer service rep...you know the person who answers the phone and says "Thank you for calling Ul****te El*******cs...This is Amanda, how may I help you?" *mind you this has become ingrained in my head and I even say it when I answer my own phone*

This particular company happened to have a very good benefits plan, which kicked in after 60 days of employment... I was nearing that 60 days *approx. a week and a half before* working 40+ hours a week, when they cut my hours down to 15+ a week siting budget cuts from corporate, which I kinda believe because they were firing all sales people who did NOT make the company at least 1 million US dollars a year! *ridiculous*

They then refused to give me time off for my cousins wedding, for which I had put the request in about 2 months in advance...I mean how hard is is to find someone to cover you when you only work 15 hours a week. *lol*

I finally ended up quitting when I was written up for something that the other 2 C.S.R.'s should have taught me during training but utterly and completely did NOT do. It was such a big thing that I know I would have remembered, took written note of and double checked a couple of times...I think I was doomed at this company from the moment I walked in and asked for an application. Too bad because I love electronics and this was a dream job. LINK
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Showing 31 - 35 of 42 Tales in "All-Staff".