Exposing cruel and unusual workplaces since 2005.
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Showing 6 - 10 of 34 Tales in "Management".
Tale # 25
Dept: Management Score: 518
Dec 4th 2005 Submitted by Omni
“Rubber Elephant Stamp of Disillusionment”
A donut A colleague of mine had to cover for the boss while he was on leave. She did an outstanding job, everyone agreed, introducing a few new things to smooth out communications as well as managing to get the rest of her work done to its usual exemplary standard.

Boss gets back from leave and is suitably impressed that not only is everything running smoothly but staff moral is higher than ever. So he suggests to his boss that she get a special mention in the greater team meeting.

These special mentions are called "Gold Stars." Yup, do a great job and you don't get a bonus or a pay rise or time off, you get a... gold star.

But clearly this isn't insulting enough. During the team meeting, the uber boss is making mention of people who have done well, mentioning the work they had done and how this has benefited the team.

She gets to my colleague and says, "And this award to [Sally] is for... no reason in particular! Well done, [Sally]."

I just looked at my colleague, trying to keep a straight face for the rest of the meeting. All the things she had done and they couldn't remember one of them for the meeting.

Oh, and she's supposed to get a tacky gold star for her desk, but it's been several months and nobody has ever seen one.

I don't think she's holding her breath. LINK
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Tale # 53
Dept: Management Score: 445
Jan 6th 2006 Submitted by Mark
“Beware of the Shirts”
A donut I was part of a large team (100+ people) working on a worldwide rollout of a software product. It was quite a complicated business - the project was scheduled to roll out over a seven year period and we were about halfway through.

Early in the project one of the guys joked that we should have team T-shirts to build morale. Our manager said he didn't like T-shirts as they were too casual for the office. Our guy suggested golf shirts instead.

But no-one could agree and the "team shirt" debate continued, steadily becoming more serious, over the next few years.

One day, out of the blue, the manager arrives with boxes and starts handing out team golf shirts. I was impressed. Not only were they nice-looking, but they were decent quality.

He says everyone should wear their shirts the next day at our monthly all-hands meeting, to show team unity.

At the meeting we're all kidding each other about how cool we look in our team shirts. Then the VP stands up and tells us the project has been cancelled. Effective immediately.

Some of the people there had been hired two (I kid you not - TWO) days before. They looked like they had been sucker punched right there...

It's now three years since I left and the problem the project was meant to resolve has still not been fixed. Business is steadily declining as a result.

My shirt still looks sharp though. LINK
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Tale # 81
Dept: Management Score: 416
Apr 20th 2006 Submitted by Dysus
“I Was a Serial Firer”
A donut I was once manager of production, responsible for about 45 people. One day, early in the morning, the owner stopped by my office and informed me that we had just lost our major contract. As a result, we soon wouldn't have enough work to keep people employed.

When I enquired which one of us should tell the staff this, he instructed me not to inform anyone. Instead, I was to "find any reason to terminate employees. For example, if someone was a few minutes late to work, I should immediately terminate them. He said, "If that doesn't work... give them tasks that will make them want to quit."

I argued against this but the owner threatened to fire me. It was tough times in manufacturing and I needed the job.

Over the next four months I had to personally lay off 85% of our employees. Then they fired me. LINK
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Tale # 79
Dept: Management Score: 334
Apr 12th 2006 Submitted by Anonymous
“Kidney failure had better not stop you from coming into work”
A donut My dad is a fairly high level manager for a large manufacturing corporation. They are well known in our area for being a horrible place to work.

My dad also has kidney disease, and is nearly to the point where he is going to need dialysis. Because of this, he is highly susceptible to disease, such as pneumonia.

Around Christmas, he caught pneumonia. The doctor wanted to put him in the hospital, but my dad had to work. Finally, he took some sick days, as he was about to lose them at the end of the year anyway. His boss called him at home, and told him he could jolly well work at home from his laptop, because the end of the year was no time to be getting sick.

Then, about a month ago, his boss informed him that if he goes into kidney failure, he had better figure out a way to come into work, because his being sick wasn't his boss's problem. LINK
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Tale # 63
Dept: Management Score: 279
Jan 27th 2006 Submitted by Editrix
“Company Standards”
A donut My first post-college job was at a hyper-efficient, alarmingly enthusiastic company. At our annual staff meeting, a President proclaimed in his thick accent, "I luff this company. I vood die for zis company."

I moved on to another company, where I expected much the same thing. I noticed that things were a little different--nothing was ever finished on time, the attitude wasn't so much "pride in a job well done" as "eh, just get it out the door"--but I almost fell out of my chair when the CEO proclaimed that the new renovations would be "up to this company's usual standards--you know, a little crappy." LINK
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Showing 6 - 10 of 34 Tales in "Management".