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Showing 6 - 10 of 12 Tales in "Sales & Marketing".
Tale # 545
Dept: Sales & Marketing Score: 18
Apr 23rd 2012 Submitted by Brian Shanahan
“No birthday for you!”
A donut A number of years ago I was working for a large international retailer (UK based) as a lowly cashier, I was in regular contact with the part-time staff, who were mostly older ladies.

When one of them was about to turn 65 we decided to start a staff collection in order to organise a birthday bash for her among the staff, mostly organised by another of the long time staff. There was no coercion involved and everybody was willing to chip in 5 (no more was asked for or accepted). Low-hours and school-age staff were also not asked to contribute.

Unfortunately the shop manager (an up-tight little so-and-so) got word of the collection and party. The next day word came down to the floor that there couldn't be a collection and that if he heard there'd been a party that heads would roll. Seemingly we were breaching company policy by running the collection, and by organising a staff party (all this was bs naturally).

By this stage we had a nice amount of money collected (about 1,000 IIRC) and we did not know what to do with it. Nobody wanted it back, but we were under scrutiny. So it was decided that we'd get something nice for the birthday girl and it would be presented to her at her family's birthday party, nicely circumventing the manager. LINK
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Tale # 271
Dept: Sales & Marketing Score: 11
Oct 18th 2009 Submitted by Anonymous
“Minority Report.”
A donut I got this internship in the Marketing Department of a very large corporate company. They told me that they didn't have the funds to pay me but were still willing to take me on as an unpaid intern. Since the economy is bad, I decided to take it anyway. The first week I was there was pretty great, everyone was congenial enough and it didn't seem like a big deal. One day my boss, who was a good friend of mine from before, asked me to lunch. She said she wanted to have a conversation with me. The conversation started off like this:

"So you might have noticed that you're the only person who looks like you at the company.."

She went on to tell me how the company was ridiculously conservative and didn't hire minorities. They also didn't ever promote women, and the one woman that they did promote never had her ideas accepted. She went on to tell me that in the many years the company has been running, out of 6 different very large buildings, I was the first minority to ever be hired. My entire department had betting pools on how long I would last.

The biggest part of all of this was this: I didn't realize I was the only minority there! It never even occurred to me! I grew up in a small town where I was always the only minority in sight so it was never a big deal. I'm pretty much white-kid, anyway.

So i tried to continue on for a month, but couldn't do it. It was affecting my mental health and finally decided to resign gracefully.

I just found out that another friend recently got my old position. She's making $12 an hour. She's white. LINK
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Tale # 538
Dept: Sales & Marketing Score: 9
May 16th 2011 Submitted by Anonymous
“and they wonder what went wrong.”
A donut I used to work debt collection for a bank back in '04. No names but at the time they were globally number 3 and trying to be the biggest.

Anyway...a couple of months in and I realised that the bank was doing it's utmost to deliberately market credit cards with astronomically high interest rates, to people that had no hope in hell of ever paying them off, and hiding the rates under a mountain fo jargon and overly complicated 'explanations' in the terms & conditions.

Not only that, but as debt collectors we were told that although we could harass people as much as the law would allow, we also had to encourage them to settle for paying the minimum amount each month, which was set so it wouldn't even cover the interest. Thereby ensuring that the debt would keep mounting.

I asked my supervisor about this, who asked the vp...and eventually a departmental email came down explaining that the debts owing to us were as good as money. I.e the more people owed us, the more our bank was worth on the stock market and this meant that debts could be traded on the commodity markets making even more money.

To quote: "one dollar owing to us for one year equals 10,000 dollars on the markets. Us being owed money is as good as us being able to print money."

All of which was based on the premise that Joe Schmoe who didn't quite grasp the concept that 'nothing to pay for the first year' wasn't the same as 'free money' and didn't have any money anyway.. would eventually pay up his share of all this virtual money instead of defaulting.

I was also reprimanded for a poor attitude when I tried to point out the flaw in this grand plan, and told it was the industry-wise standard so I had better not question it.

I started looking for new job the day after and wasn't all surprised when the financial house of cards the banks had built imploded, collapsing Wall street etc. LINK
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Tale # 116
Dept: Sales & Marketing Score: 8
Sep 5th 2007 Submitted by Zchidzo
“Cheat me out of pay, will you?”
A donut I worked as a business to consumer telemarketer for a health magazine a few years back. It was my first job as a telemarketer, and I didn't really like the product, which was basically bogus.
This of course affected my sales, and after a few months I started looking for a new job.
I found one with a business to business telemarketing company.
i then went to my boss and explained that I was quitting, and told him that I would stay on for another two weeks if he wanted me to, something I didn't have to do, as there had never been a contract.
He told me that he didn't think that would be necessary, and so I left.
I started work at the new place selling real products, and liked it a lot better, and my sales grew... But I was owed money from my old work. Money I needed to pay rent.
I called them three or four times, and the boss kept explaining that he had just wired the money, that it was in the mail, and a lot of other excuses. Now it wasn't a lot of money but I really needed it.
In the end I had to go there, on an afternoon when I knew the team leader was a rather sweet old lady who wouldn't hurt a fly. How she became a telemarketer team leader I'll never understand.
And explain to this elderly woman, whom I quite liked, that I still knew the codes to get into the building, and I still knew the work schedule, and knew when only one person was at work, and if I didn't get payed very soon, I might come by and pick up my pay in whatever I found lying around their office.
Im a pretty big guy.
Next day the money came.
I can't believe I had to resort to threats, threats I would never carry out BTW, to get paid. LINK
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Tale # 165
Dept: Sales & Marketing Score: 8
May 14th 2009 Submitted by Anonymous
“BIG PHARMA”
A donut It all started at the Company wide National Meeting in Orlando. Marketing Day- they gave us Sales Managers our Quota's for each drug our team sell.

The quota was arguably very high. Problem was the patient population that our drugs treat is not huge, its a small disease-not like, say, Hypertension. In fact if Everyone who had this disease used our drugs 100% of the time we still could not sell enough pills to meet quota.

So we were instructed on how to teach "Probing Skills" to our reps. To "Help and Lead" Physicians use our drugs on people its is not intended to treat. This was not the usual out of indication use that physicians do every day. It was expanded use with no clinical evidence or even medical history!

Many of us were not comfortable with this, of course, and asked our(boss) Director to clarify. So he brought us to a special meeting with his boss-the VP of Sales. He asked us the infamous question all managers have been asked "Are You On Board?" If your not with us.... He mentioned the high number of sales positions open that we could take instead of managing. That we should "think about that and try to refocus our energy on solutions not obstacles."

So I'm ashamed to say I "GOT ON Board". I spun the new "aggressive sales attitude" our company has adopted- to my team.
This is just the tip of the iceberg regarding the new sales tactics we began using over the next 2 years.

I have since left that company and started my own business that is doing OK- but I sleep much better! LINK
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Showing 6 - 10 of 12 Tales in "Sales & Marketing".